Even In Death There Is Life
by Silraen
Summary: The time has come for Arwen to at last give herself to the circles of the world...but first, she must say goodbye to her only, and most beloved, son. Written by Silraen and Navana


_Even In Death There Is Life_

Written by Silraen and Navana

With its accustomed glimmer, Minas Tirith, the White City of Gondor, met the rising sun, alighting it with an unspeakable marvel. From the very point of the Tower of Ecthelion and slowly weaving over cobble and granite alike, reaching at last to the foot of the mighty walls that greeted the Pelannor beyond. From the peaks of the White Mountains far above, the wind blew, brisk and fresh, dancing in and out of the great halls of the long-passed Stewards and throughout the House of Kings, so full of ageless wisdom. With a whimsical twirl it wrapped the shining tower that crowned the seventh layer of the City, then spirited away towards the house of the King.

With a warm, pleasant smile upon his face, Eldarion, King of Gondor, greeted the kiss of the breeze. So greatly did he love the feeling. For a fleeting moment, he remembered not always being the one standing in the northernmost window of this house - his house. Before him had come a greater man, so noble and strong, yet caring and deeply in love with life itself. With a slight shake of his head - thick with dark, silken tresses - he tried not to let himself wander back to his father. He still had not forgotten the sorrow that lay in his heart. _But he had lived richer than ever a man had...and that was all he wished._

The dismal, distant look faded, like the melting of snow in the meadows, into a thoughtful smile; the sun illuminating his ethereal eyes.

Silently, she stood behind him, as still and as pale as a white tree, watching him, gazing upon him...her beloved son. For a brief moment did she smile, the feel of it upon her lips seemed so foreign...she could not remember when she had last allowed a smile to come through. Softly, the wind blew, her dark tresses dancing in its whirls, the one lock of frost glinted brightly in the golden sunlight...and it seemed that it was the only radiant thing about her.

It had been said that her eyes, once full of ethereal light and luminescent joy, had been the most radiant thing of her Elven appearance. If one looked into her eyes, they could become lost in those depthless pools...those shining stars. Yet long had that light of joy been absent from her gaze...it had been since the eve in which her King...her Hope had taken his last breath. "Eldarion," came her soft call, her voice low, and loving, and yet within those rich undertones seemed to be a measure of pain...her words seemed to be strained even, as if she bore all the pains of the world within her heart. 

Nearly bewildered at another's presence, Eldarion turned, his smile growing as he saw who it was who had come to him. _"Naneth?_ What brings you here so early this morn?" Of all those in his life, no one had ever been more supportive, more open to the innerworkings of the laberynthe of feelings that coursed through his thoughts than his mother and father. With the clear absence of his father, he had only her, and he could see the sadness of his absence wearing into her, and it hurt him only further to know that she suffered.

Her slight smile lingered upon her face as she came forward to stand beside him, resting her hands upon the marble wall. "Your father would come here, as the sun would rise, just as you do," she said softly, her eyes leaving his to gaze out upon Minas Tirith, shining gloriously, to the White Tree far below them. She remembered when it had been but a small sapling, barely taller than she herself when she had first come here. How it had grown...how it had blossomed.

With pain bent in his brow, Eldarion nodded. "I know... I saw him here so many times..." Though he was strong, not all burdens could be carried alone. Some must be shared. "I miss him, _Nana..."_

Her eyes veiled themselves behind her lashes for a brief moment as a wave of sorrow washed over her. Long ago she had ceased to resist the tide of heart-wrenching pain...and now, wave upon wave would come upon her...and each one would succeed, little by little, to carry her away upon the sea of her loss. "I know, _ion nin,"_ came her whisper. "As do I."

"I... I am sorry... I should not have..." Just like his father would have, Eldarion felt the pang of sorrow that surged through her.

"Nay, love," she murmured, turning to him. "Nay...do not apologize. We all miss him...you, and I, and your sisters...all of us. We should speak of him...we should keep the memory of him alive within us...in each of us...like an undying ember that shall never burn out." _And yet...long has mine been flickering so low..._

"It will take more than simply time for him to be forgotten..." No matter how much he longed to see him, in his heart, he knew that his father had spent his time in Arda, and his time had long-passed to leave it. The thought alone brought back his last memory of the great King Elessar. _He knew this was the right thing, otherwise he would never have left Naneth._

"Time...indeed...even more than..." her voice faded as she once again looked to the North, though her eyes were unseeing as her thoughts consumed her. _Though long have I known now that time is not simple...and that one should take every moment and treasure it...and keep it safe within the heart. Never had I known the meaning of time until he came into my life...and through his experiences and my own...I know that time is no simple thing._

Solemnly the son of Aragorn and Arwen nodded. "Indeed..." From his lips, a gentle sigh escaped. A long moment of silence fell between them, both lost to the silent thoughts and whispers that lingered in their hearts. So deeply, Eldarion knew his mother longed to be with him, to join him beyond this world, but so greatly did he long for her company and her trusted advice. As the gust of wind met his face once more, blowing away his hair to fall behind his pointed ears, his mind meandered back to the present. "The sunrise this morning was beautiful..."

"Truly," she murmured in agreement. "It has been many years since I had last seen one such as it was this morn. The way the sky seemed to be of molten gold, and yet the stars could be seen, shining brilliantly in the heavens..." _Only once had I seen a sky such as it had been but moments before...and that had been on the day after Midsummer...the morning after our wedding._

She could still vividly recall that moment as if it had happened but this very morning. She had stirred to wakefulness as the radiant sunshine streamed into their chambers, alighting all in a luminescent wonder, and she had found herself lying in the arms of love for the first time. She could remember how her heart had soared with joy and bliss as she had looked upon his sleeping face, devoid of all worries and sorrows...only peace had been seen upon his features. Then she had reached to him, and had caressed his cheek, and a smile had graced his lips, his eyes slowly opening to gaze into her own, and she had lost herself within the depths of those glistening jewels...

Her soft smile faded along with the memory as she turned her head to look upon her son, her eyes searching his face. _My son...I know not how to say to you what must be said..._

"And with the onning of this beautiful day, how do you fare, _Naneth nin?"_ Eldarion asked, finally turning fully away from the window. So much of his father lingered in his features, so proud and strong. At the same time, the beauty and luminance of his mother was there, looking back at her.

Arwen gazed into his glistening eyes for a long moment, seeing her beloved's mark upon him...in him. How much he resembled his father...and at times, even though she loved him greatly, more than even the heavens could contain, she found it painful to watch or even glance at her son, whether it would be in the Councils or at dinner...even now, she could see Estel in him, and she felt another wave of sorrow wash over her.

_How do I fare? he asks... How am I to tell him what lays within my heart when I cannot even think of the words to say? How can I do this to him... Ah, beloved! her heart seemed to cry out, If you could see me now...so unsure of myself...I am so lost without your guidance...your love...you yourself..._ She could feel the tears welling in her eyes and she cast her gaze away, taking Eldarion's hand gently within her cold one and she led him over to a bench situated near the wall.

Through the window, though the sun was alive and radiant in the heavens, stars yet spied through the dawn. _Search for me amongst the stars, and there I shall find you when the time has come... Meleth nin, this was your choice, and any choice may be trying, but that is where strength is made: through abiding by our choices...._ His word drifted through her thoughts.

Eldarion looked to his beloved mother, his eyes dazzling and unfathomable. Though so many things passed through his mind as he read the solemn, distant expression on her face, though none dare break the surface of the still moment that surrounded them. All he could do was look, and wait.

Her breath came and went. Came...and went as she sat still, her graceful form outlined in the brilliant sunshine. _And I have found my own strength in you, Estel._ Many moments passed them by when finally she looked up from where she held his hand, and she met his eyes, her own glimmering depths shone with tears yet unshed as she searched his gaze. _"Ion nin...Eldarion nin..."_ came her soft voice, and though her pain of endless sorrow could be seen within her own gaze, her whisper did not waver. "It is time for me."

The magnificent glimmer in his eyes faded, his breath stilled. He could feel nothing more than his thoughts for what seemed like an eternity. _It is her time...to go back to Ada... To be happy again..._ Though the sudden sorrow that lay in his heart yearned to be spoken - for him to plea with her to stay - he knew she had been so long emptied of joy, deprived of jubilation. All he could muster in response was a small nod.

She gazed at him, knowing well that he understood her, yet she also knew that he was hurt...and she had caused this. His sudden pain could be read within his eyes...and she could feel it rip through him...through his very heart. Her own heart seemed to shatter as it had so many years before, and her own pain intensified with the knowledge that she gave him this pain...this sorrow. _Was this how you felt, my one heart, when you told me what I now say to him?_ She drew in a breath, though her tears could not be stopped and they fell on their own accord, glinting like gems down her smooth cheeks. Softly, she caressed his hand. _There is no other love like a mother's love for her child... And it hurts so..._

_"Nana..."_ A need ripped through him for her presence, her comforting touch. Nearly subconsciously, his strong arms wrapped about her, his head resting on her shoulder, just as he had done since he was a small boy. Just the same, he felt so lost, so overwhelmed - a boy caught in the circles of the world. "I will miss you..."

Her own arms wrapped around him, tightly, holding him to her as she slowly, gently, began to rock him...just as she had done so very long ago. "I know...my son...I know," she whispered, leaning her head upon his. "And I will miss you...so very much. You are in my heart, love...you are within me and I am within you. Nothing, not even death, can change that. Do you hear me, Eldarion?" she asked him softly, her tone gentle and loving. She had used to ask those words to him when he had been but a small child. "Nothing can...and nothing will." She put a hand to his hair, soothingly stroking it, her tears never ceasing to fall.

Fiercely he fought back the tears he felt rising. He could not cry, not here. So distant seemed the memories he held of his father's passing, and of hearing the news of his decision. The same feeling gripped at him once more. Ages could pass and he would not be able to forget it. "I hear your words, _Nana..."_ Slowly, he lifted his head. "And though you will be greatly missed, I know, you will be with Ada..." Through the sadness, a soft comfort found him. "And I know that is where you long to be." A small, wan smile pulled at his lips.

She cupped his cheek within her palm, her lovely eyes looking deep into his own, and a soft smile answered his. "Indeed...I shall be with him...at long last." A sudden longing filled her, and though she feared death...she feared it so that it was utterly blinding...that longing within her heart could not be denied. But she must not let Eldarion see her fear...she must be strong. He needed her, even though he was a grown man...she knew that he needed her strength. "My time is come, my son, but yours is only just beginning. You have so many years, full of life and love and peace, ahead of you, and that it what your father and I truly fought for. We fought against the Shadow all those years long passed not only for us, but for our dream. For you. For your sisters. For your children and their children. That was our dream...it _is_ our dream."

Again he nodded, feeling her words sink deep within him. "Then I will do my best to bear your dream, your purpose with me. It is all I want for my children - that they find a love for life just as you have shown me. It is my true hope that peace endures... It is all I want for Gondor...to flourish in life..."

"And it shall...even unto the ending of the world." Once more, she embraced him, her heart reaching to his. "Even as I will wander out of the bounds of time and into eternity, I shall always love you. Know this, and keep it within you. Always and forever."

_"Uireb...Nana..."_ he breathed as he held her in his arms. So deeply did he love she who had brought him into the world. She loved so much, and cared so greatly, yet he knew she suffered without his father. _This is right..._ "Forever..."

And so it was. She took a month of preparation to live one last time within the walls of memory, to live in the place of harmony in which she and her husband had built together. Yet finally the day came when Arwen Undomiel at last took her leave of the White City, of all her loved ones and beloved children, for she knew that it was not her place to give herself to the circles of the world there. Long ago she had decided that she would end her life where she had begun to live...in the realm of Lothlorien, where her life and love had been found and her fate appointed. It was a fate she chose willingly, and never did she regret it...never did she question it, even until the very end.

Even as she laid herself down to rest amongst the elanor and niphredil upon the hill of Cerin Amroth, the place in which her heart had dwelt long before the flight of the Shadow, her last thoughts had been of her children and how much she loved them. Hope had filled her heart and soul as she took her last breath and faded willingly into the waiting arms of her beloved, to finally be in bliss, and forever they laughed and danced amongst the stars, beacons of their everlasting love.

Though Elessar and his Undomiel faded from the world and into legend, a part of them lived on through the love of their children, never to be fully forgotten. For that is what children bring to the ones who gave them life and love - remembrance, and life even in death - a memory as they live the dream of hope that can never fade.

_fin_

~Completed on~

2~7~04


End file.
